INTIMIDATION, VISIONS & DREAMS
Have you ever felt like you've been chosen to do something great in life? Yet at the same time you knew darkness hovered around you, waiting for the right time to wipe out your existence? As a little girl I knew there was something great God wanted to use me for. Along with the feeling that God wanted to use me for something great, I could also feel the dark and bitterness of the enemy waiting for me to step away from the protection God had placed upon my life. As a little girl I dealt with all sorts of spiritual warfare, some I didn't understand at the time until I got a little older.
I have learned from experience the devil doesn't fight fair. He cheats and will attempt to destroy you way before you ever realize who you truly are. As a little girl my gifts were strong and I wondered if it was from God from time to time. I questioned my gift because I thought to myself, would God place this gift on me without explaining to me what it is and how to use it? At times I felt alone because I knew no one could feel the heaviness or burden I would feel prior to my visions coming to past.
Not only that, I could feel the hurt that was to come from those who experience what was ahead. It was too much for me as a little girl and instead of praying for understanding I prayed and begged God to take what I thought was a curse away from me. I was tired of waking up at night sometimes crying about what was ahead. Of course every dream or vision I had I told my mom so she was aware of any upcoming events. Again I pleaded with God and ask Him to take the feeling and the visions away from me because it was too much for me to handle.
Not only did I felt like my gift was an issue I was also intimidated by the enemy and he knew this. God had to repeatedly show me through dreams that the devil couldn’t touch me and so his way of getting my attention was to intimidate and scare me. Can I be honest with you? You would think that after the God almighty sends you a message in a dream, that would be enough. In my case it wasn’t, so periodically God had to send me a reminder. Some people fight with addiction, I fought with intimidation and not feeling worthy both physically and spiritually.
Intimidation was what the devil used every single time I took 2 steps forward spiritually just to watch me take 5 steps back out of fear. Intimidation grew up with me from a little girl all the way to my adulthood. Everything that God told me to do to help others I did, and although others saw it as something big or huge I saw it as something small. Smallness had consumed me, as this is how I felt or saw many things that related to what I was doing even in the Kingdom. I wish I could tell you that as soon as I confess I would no longer feel this way. Or as soon as a Pastor laid hands on me it was all over, but it wasn't.
Everywhere I went people would say you are a powerhouse and you don’t even know it. Or you don’t even know how powerful you are Sherrell. Some even told me they prayed to God to have the gifts and creativity I'm blessed with. I became frustrated because I couldn’t see what others saw in me. Who is this mighty woman of God or giant people saw when they looked at me? Who was she and why couldn't she just come out and appear in front of me? Never mind that I asked God to just show me what others see so perhaps I could act the part….
To be continued....
